"Greetings from the United States Government!"

What could be more refreshing with eggs and cereal in the morning than a call from the U.S. probation office? His voice had such a southern drawl, I thought it was someone from the Moral Majority on an autodial machine looking for a donation. But no, it was real news:

April 11, 2 p.m., Lompoc.
Be there or be square.

I wanted to say that it'd OK with me if they thought I'm square and we left it at that. But I'm not sure about such humor translates well to the probation culture in Columbus, Georgia.

So I calculate my release date is July 10. I get both Easter and the Fourth of July in prison. Sounds like a real party.

And it's called the "satellite camp" next to the USP-Lompoc, the high-security penitentiary next door. They've got the concertina wire; we've got the salad bar. Just hope the varsity sports teams aren't mixed. I hate getting picked last.

Apparently, the PO had a busy morning. The email buzz is that most of my co-criminals were also called today with April 11 report dates. Bay Area activists Cheryl Sommers and Sarah Harper as well as Dorothy Parker of Chico are all going to Dublin. They may start walking to report to the prison a couple days before. Still, based on the pattern, I can see the unfairness already: This government is trying to frustrate our constitutional right to postpone the filing of our income tax returns until the last possible moment, midnight on April 15.